The first fall

You WILL drop your baby, or she will fall over. The first time she falls and bumps her head, it's completely heart wrenching. you feel physically sick. You don't know what to do, you want to scream. It's awful.

~*It is NOT safe to carry your baby to another room in her bouncy chair. This is how my baby first fell.*~

First things first as soon as your baby has fallen, make sure (s)he cries and breathes in to let out a massive scream. After that, take her and cuddle her, to calm her down a bit, and to calm you down. Rush straight to the hospital, in a taxi, so make sure you have the money for one hidden somewhere at all times. Do not stand around and wait for a bus, do not drive in that stressed out condition. Cuddle and jig the baby until (s)he stops crying, or at least quietens down, then call your taxi and whilst you are waiting for it, run around like a headless chicken.
Put her in her cot. Safe and secure and you need to get ready.
People will be judging you. People will be making probing questions to see if you did it on purpose. Try and replay the incident in your mind, because they will ask a lot of questions and "I don't know it happened so fast" apparently isn't acceptable.
 Make bottles up for the whole day, you will be there for hours
Bring hat, and gloves, and coat, and blankets, even if you don't normally, even if it's summer. Depending what time of day it is, you could be there past dark, and it could get really cold, even in summer.
Bring toys
Bring a book if you can. You will be there for hours, and if your baby is asleep, you will be bored
Bring your baby's red book.
Bring a pram if you can. You don't want to haul your baby all over hospital, especially if (s)he's asleep. I had a lovely taxi driver, who helped me work out how to put it down to get in his car.

Try your best not to panic, your baby will pick up on it. I got to the hospital so fast, there were no marks on her. I saw the nurse for initial assessment, and then went to the waiting room to wait for a doctor. Her bruise developed in the waiting room. I went back to the nurse and told her and she had a little look at it. Everything was fine with my baby of course, but you can never be too safe with a head injury. I think the fact that I got there so fast the bruise developed whilst I was there was heavily in my favour. They could see I got there as quickly as I possibly could.

Your baby is allowed to sleep. I don't remember why, whether it's because babies don't get concussion or because you're there with her every second, I don't know. But don't try and force your baby to stay awake. If she's relaxed enough to sleep and cuddle, then it's clearly not that painful for her, which is very very good, right?

Baby: 3-6 months: How do I play with my baby?

Carry on doing everything you did for 0-3 months (previous blog post), with a few additions and changes.

• It's time to learn to stop swearing now. It's still early, but if you start now you will be able to slip up a few times before you actually need to stop.
• It's time to find radio edits of the songs you've been playing her, and change her youtube playlist to radio edits. You can still play her your style of music but
• It's time to find kiddies songs for her. It's also something you'll need to get used to. And babies (and children) love repetition, so you need to start getting used to silly nonsense songs over and over and over and over...it's worth it for their massive grins when they recognize it though, I promise.

It is still early for these things, but if you're starting to get used to it now you'll be more prepared for later.

So I had a craving one day for a song I heard in french class, and my baby loved it! She reacted so well we've played it to her almost every day since! I don't know if it's the accent, the language, the tone, the sound effects...she loves it. And this has paved the way for very early foreign language learning. If you know another language, you should start teaching it to your children as soon as possible. The younger they are, the easier they will pick it up (I'm talking about 2years here though) She literally dances to this. Maybe your baby will like it too, maybe they won't. It's really worth a try.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v16LyAr3aZ8

and also this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChTEn7h1e6U&list=PL261F0CA7887756DA

Your baby may also like ANY Alvin and the Chipmunks song, because of the silly voices. My baby adores music, it seems to be her world, and with such good reactions to music, it was very easy to forget to help her develop other characteristics.

Don't forget tummy time. This helps with learning to crawl, and roll. You should try and give your baby 5 minutes tummy time every single day. Let her get frustrated. It spurs her on. Don't stop just because (s)he starts to cry. Let her cry for a few minutes first, it's okay, it won't hurt her.

Don't forget to let her grab and touch things. Use her own hand to push buttons on her toys to teach her. Dangle things from the bar on her bouncy chair or across the pram. Suddenly one day she just grabbed it by herself, and I felt really guilty that I hadn't been putting toys for her to grab, at all. keep trying to hand her things, put her fingers around them yourself, and (s)he'll look so proud of herself when she holds it, even for a second. My baby loves crinkling pop tart packets. Never leave the room if you give her something like this, because she will often break little bits off, and you will need to watch her like a hawk, or take ANY little, swallowable bits away from her. Your baby will be starting to develop her love for sound, and making the sounds herself.

Don't forget to let her sit up. A wonderful thing to do, is to put her on your bed, and put pillows behind her, roll your duvet around her sides so she can't fall to the side. (s)he will look so proud of herself when (s)he can do it "all by herself" as she gets older and more used to sitting up, you can support her less and less. You can hold her hands and sing row row row your boat. (s)he will be able to sit completely by herself at around six months, but if you practice with her, it could be earlier. Row row row your boat is so good because it repeatedly used the sitting up motion, which will strengthen her muscles. Don't expect her to sit anywhere (on your lap, on the bed, later, on the floor) for very long. Remember this is new to her and it could be hurting her muscles. Always follow long periods of sitting with cuddles or a nice lie down.

Baby: 0-3 months: How do I play with my baby?

There are lots of things you can do to play with your baby! There are SO many things you can try. Watch her, and see what (s)he does and doesn't like. Even before (s)he smiles, there's plenty of cues she gives you as to how much (s)he likes something.

My little girl didn't really care for toys until she was about 4 months old. This is fine. You can find other ways of entertaining your baby. (s)he probably still sleeps quite a lot, but when she's awake there are a lot of things you can try with her:

• You can play music to her. If you play stuff to her that you played whilst pregnant, she might even recognize it. You can play her whatever you like, your music. This is the time to see if (s)he's like you and what she likes and doesn't. You can play radio to her for a mix of new and old music, and you know it will all be bleeped, but you can find radio edits later.
• You can sing to her. Sing her whatever you want, a mix of things would be best, to see what (s)he likes, but you can swear as much as you like, (s)he doesn't understand you yet. This is all about getting comfortable singing to your baby, so you can do it in public and dance and be silly without being embarrassed, and the easiest way to do that would be to sing her music that you're comfortable with and know the words to.
• Explore her sense of touch. Run a feather along her face, show her how to rustle your empty crisp packet. If it's summery, take her playmat outside, and (s)he can lean over the edge and run her fingers through the grass, feel the wind on her little face. Also, babies love trees. They like to see them move in the breeze and hearing them rustle. 
• You can bounce her on your lap and sing her nursery rhymes. Easy to look up, or YouTube, if you can't remember all the words from your childhood. There are regional differences too so keep that in mind. 
• You can show her that baby in the mirror. They LOVE that baby in the mirror. They will smile at her, try to touch her, try to talk to her (as (s)he gets older) Say their name as they look at that baby in the mirror, it will help them associate, that's ME.
• You can read to her. My 5 month old baby is only just getting into books, but some will be into the, earlier. Try them out, and if your baby doesn't seem interested, try another time. It could be that her eyes aren't developed enough to see properly, or (s)he could simply not be in the mood for it. Reading can be very good for you, you need to talk to your baby and let her know your voice, and that you're there. Reading can be a great way to start off, because you get nervous at first, and you don't know what to say. When you're reading out loud to your baby (even the book you're currently reading if you want) (s)he is hearing your voice, and that is the most important thing. It really doesn't matter what you say.

~*Don't be afraid to be creative! Your baby will love personalized nursery rhymes, and made up stories! If you start now when they can't understand, you will be more used to it later when they ask you to, and you won't be embarrassed! These are some variations I have come up with for my little one*~

How much is that baby in the mirror?

The one with the beautiful smile?

How much is that baby in the mirror?

I do hope that baby's for sale.

Pat-a-cake pat-a-cake

Baker's man.

Bake me a cake as fast as you can

Pat it and prick it and make it gluten-free

And put it in the oven for grandma and me! 

(we're not snobs, grandma is actually coeliac, which means she's allergic to gluten)

~**I don't believe children should be shoved in front of the tv. Our parents did fine without it. "it's educational" Yes, sometimes, but not as interactive as YOU are. Not as fun, comforting, or educational as YOU + TOYS can be. Sure they like the colours, and it's cute to see them stare at it, and there IS a difference between letting them watch 2 minutes, and shoving them there for half an hour. It can make a rude little child that cranes around mommy and daddy to see the damn tv. Or cry if it's not on. I've seen it. I don't want my little one watching tv until she is at least year old. They can't understand or benefit from the tv until past then anyway, you just don't want to entertain your child. I know it's hard. I'm living it. But the BEST thing you can do for her is entertain her yourself. Please do not take offence. It is my opinion, not instruction**~

You will need to develop a constant monologue. Narrate everything you're doing: "Mummy's washing a plate, scrub scrub scrub, put it to dry, there we go!", "We're going to go change your bum, up, up, up the stairs, weeee! Okay Give me that little leggie..." Etc. This is useful because it helps your child's development of language, and understanding, if (s)he has more words being spoken to her (s)he will undoubtedly pick up the language quicker than a baby who doesn't! It is also a form of entertainment for her, and comfort. You need to learn how to be silly, and play with your little baby, and it starts here. You need to keep this monologue up pretty much always. It makes you thirsty, but you're doing the best thing for your child. 

Talk to her on the bus. It makes me sad when I see people NOT talking to their babies on the bus! When she gets a bit older (I started at four months), you can even have her in your arms on the bus, (s)he can look out the window and watch the world go by, and there's plenty of things to say! "Where are we going darling? We going on an adventure? Ooh what's that? That's a TREE, and a CAR, and a FENCE..." Anything she can see, from the pram or from your arms. (I prefer to have her in my arms, it's a cuddle, and you can talk quieter in her ear) It may be embarrassing the first few times, but most people don't give a monkey's and some people look at you with admiration and indulgence (generally older people, a lot of them new grandparents. Don't be surprised if they talk to you) 

You can get stuck for things to say to her quite often, but it's no problem. Start again, babies love repetition, or fall back on telling her how beautiful (s)he is, and how much you love her. You can talk to her about what you're going to have for dinner tonight, what time Daddy's going to be home, all sorts. If you notice yourself saying the same things over and over, it's okay. How many people have heard you saying it over and over? No-one, because people don't really care, and if they're just passing you in the street, they've heard it once. Don't get self conscious, your baby will LOVE this, I promise.

Some failsafe phrases, like how BEA-U-TI-FUL she is, repeated over and over, are so good because now our baby recognizes the word beautiful, at only 5 months old, and smiles every single time we say it. Break words down into syllables (like above) for a change of tone and pace in your monologue.

Baby: 0-3 months: 3-6 months: 6-9 months: Date night!

If you're still with the father of your baby, or if you've entered a new relationship and are living with this new person, you need to make time for dates. It is very important to have time together, especially if you're living together and you both have to deal with the daily grind of baby tasks here and there and everywhere. It is obviously best if a grandma lives fairly close to you for a no-hassle baby-sitter, but even if not you should find a friend you trust or even hire someone.

You should go out on a date with your other half about once a month. Every week is excessive, twice a month could be great, but definitely at least once every six weeks. You don't have to drink, or go to a fancy restaurant, but you should definitely get out of the house. Sure it might be nice to catch up on some recorded tv, but you can do that any evening after the baby has gone to bed. You should get out of the house, go to the cinema, go bowling, have a candlelit dinner, something you don't often get to do. You should ban any baby talk, you won't succeed, at least the first couple of times anyway, but you should have that goal in mind. It should be just you two at that table. Let the stresses of the past few weeks melt away, as you remember why you fell for each other, and what it is like to be together. Date night is something you should work into your budget, you might want to try a restaurant you've been past, you might want to recreate your first date, you might even want to go out drinking. Do not feel guilty about this. You need time together and time for yourselves. You're not just parents. You're a couple in love.

Baby: 0-3 months: The first Smilestone

Your baby will smile when (s)he is ready. Don't get upset about it, or stressed. I was so focused on wanting her to smile when daddy was around. You can't give your baby a deadline. (s)he will smile when (s)he's good and ready and there's nothing you can do about it. If (s)he smiles when Daddy is around, that's just luck. He might be upset to miss it but there are plenty of other milestones he will be there for. You also might feel like you can't leave her with anyone else in case (s)he smiles without you. You should try to get over this. Of course you'll be upset if you miss it, but it won't be the end of the world, and there'll be more to come! And if you keep delaying your date night, you will put strain on your relationship, and that will make an unhappy home environment for your little one, and (s)he might actually smile later because of it.

So how can you encourage your baby to smile? Make sure you smile a lot around her. Show her how it's done. She will pick up on it eventually. You could also gently push up the corners of her mouth with your fingertips, smiling as you do, to show her that is what (s)he's doing. You should also do things that make her happy. If (s)he has a favourite game or song, play it with her a lot. Make sure you give her a lot of attention and play. (s)he will be more likely to smile when she is calm and relaxed, or excited and playing.

But I've been told "it's wind"? Yes. Babies do give windy smiles, and they can be so beautiful and you wonder if it really is just wind. Windy smiles happen more when (s)he's asleep, so if she's awake, it could be real. I just knew in my heart that she was smiling for real. Even if it's "too early" don't listen to everyone else telling you that it's wind, listen to your mother's instinct, the voice inside. I'm sure you'll know when it's real. Have faith in yourself, you can do it.

Babies tend to smile at around 6-8 weeks. It can be before that, and it can be after. My baby smiled at 5 weeks. After the first time, of any milestone, don't expect more the same day, or the next day, it could be a couple of days before they're ready again.

But my baby has incredible trouble with wind?

Join the club. All babies will have trouble with wind at some point or other, you just need to monitor it to find out if it's a significant problem. They seemingly label all unexplained screaming as "colic" it doesn't always mean that your baby has wind. If your baby is screaming inconsolably for ages, then burps and stops, or at least cries quieter, you know that's what the problem is. If this carries on for a couple of days it's time to do something about it! It can be the worst feeling in the world when your baby is screaming and screaming and you don't know why. Breathe. Don't get stressed, it won't help anything. If you're getting angry or upset, pass your baby on to someone else who is around that you trust, or go put her in her cot. Calming yourself is very important because your baby picks up on your mood, and it only makes it worse. It's okay. By putting your baby down you're taking positive, forward steps to positive mental health and your ability to look after your baby. Don't stubbornly hold on to her, insisting you can make her feel better when you're getting more and more stressed and so is (s)he.

Take advice from anyone you possibly can about ways you can better wind your baby. different positions or techniques could make all the difference.

There are plenty of medicines out there to help you with this problem. Finding the right one for you could take some doing. Some medicines work by grouping all the wind together in a ball, and some work by making the milk easier to digest for your baby. Unless you find your baby is allergic, use each one for at least a week before writing it off as not working. It might be good to keep a scream diary, to monitor if, even though she is still crying, if it's better, or for less time.

These are our experiences with medicines. It doesn't mean they will be the same for you. It didn't take us very long to find the right medication, thanks to the advice of a good friend. There are plenty of others out there, in a range of prices, but this is what worked for us.

Infacol - Good enough I guess. It's main advantage being that it is suitable from birth, I think it may be the only one right now. You use it before each feed. It's a pleasant taste, a mild orange flavour, so it will introduce your baby to new flavours very early, which I think is good. It takes a few days to build up in the system, and everytime you forget a dose it knocks the progress back a bit. It worked okay for us, but she still screamed.

Gripe water - I always thought this was wonderful stuff. It works on me. It tastes gorgeous but some people think it's too sugary for your baby (why does it exist then...) You can use it from one month, before or during a feed (maybe also after...?) You can also add it to the feed. The trouble with that is your baby has to have all of her feed for you to know (s)he got the full dose. You use it whenever you want to, it has instant effect. So what's the problem then? It's quite expensive, and big. It is 150ml, which is 30 doses, and once opened it must be used withing 2 weeks. We wasted so much of it, routinely throwing away half a bottle. It works wonders, but for so much waste we wanted to try something else.

Dentinox - I'd never even heard of this. It is very very good. It is the one for us. You can give it to your baby before a feed I think, or put it in the bottle, which is what we do. It is very thick, and strong smelling, and a fairly strong flavour for your baby, so adding it to the feed has worked out best for us. It comes with a wonderful syringe, which stops and 2.5 ml (the dose) However, have some medicine spoons handy, as when you get near the bottom it is nigh on impossible to get a full dose out with the syringe. It works exactly the same as infacol, but better. It takes time to build up but we noticed differences quicker than infacol, and it is still improving. Reasonable price, you don't end up wasting much, and pretty powerful.

You can use gripe water and infacol together, you can use gripe water and dentinox together. You CANNOT use infacol and dentinox together.

Baby: 0-3 months: Cooking

By now you might be starting to get sick of takeaways and microwave food. I hope this isn't presumptuous, but I would like to share with you a few easy recipes with your babies. You can prepare these when your baby is sleeping, and bung it in the oven half an hour before you need them, or, once your baby is a bit older and interested, you can put her in her high chair so that (s)he can watch you doing it all.

You need a good brand of packet sauce mix. I always use Coleman's but they seem to be dying out in supermarkets. Packet mixes are better than jars because they take up less space in your cupboards. You can make your own sauces of course, but that takes valuable time. You can also add anything extra you might want to your sauce, I often use gravy or tomato puree to thicken or sometimes garlic salt.

Good things to make include: -

• Lasagne
• Cottage pie (BEEF MINCE)
• Shepherds pie (LAMB MINCE)
• Tuna pasta bake

You can prepare all of these whenever you want, during your baby's mid afternoon nap, if you can't sleep, etc., and then you put it in the oven later, half an hour before you want it. 

The BEST place to get mince? Iceland. They sell 500g beef mince, or lamb mince, for £2.50. The beef mince is LEAN and you can COOK FROM FROZEN, so no pesky defrosting and forward planning.

How to make mashed potatoes.

Not to be vain, but I think I make pretty good mash. I think this is by doing it this way:
peel and cut up potatoes small, so that they cook quicker. Cook until flaky (also if you now put them in the oven it makes good roast)
Mash potatoes BEFORE you add milk and/or butter. It is more effort, but it is less lumpy this way!
Add things to it, splash of milk, butter, marg, garlic salt, cinnamon, basil, dill, whatever you want.

Invest in a slow cooker, or crock pot. Stews are wonderful, hearty and can use up all the spare bits and bobs you have lying around. You can put ANYTHING in your stew. Any meat you like (chunks) even mix meats, and potatoes and carrots, maybe broccoli, peas, or sweetcorn (these cook quickly, add later) Chop it all up when baby is sleeping, and put it on LOW for 4-5hrs, OR on HIGH for an hour and a half...You can add a nice thick gravy, or a nice soupy stock.

Soup!
Soup is great. It can stay in the pan for a couple of days, or in portions in the fridge for a week. I have tried freezing this recipe, but it didn't defrost well. This is MY soup recipe, you can add all sorts of different things to it, or make completely different soup, my point is, it's easy to do.
2x chicken stock cubes (standard for soup, if you're veggie, you can use veg stock.)
1x lamb stock cube (you can't tell it's lamb, but it makes a difference)

1L water (instead of the 1.5 that 3 stock cubes would suggest)
Dollop butter

Any herbs and spices you'll want, garlic salt, cinnamon, basil, sage....
(you can add onion, and/or 1 garlic clove per person, but we don't like onion, and I always use garlic salt instead of garlic)

(if your baby is weaning, DO NOT add salt or garlic salt, and they can have some)

1 large carrot

3 extra trimmed leeks

2 large potatoes, or 4 or 5 small potatoes

Leave on low heat for a couple of hours. You can't really overcook soup.
Blend
~*optional: cut a couple of chicken breasts into large chunks, and boil in a separate pan. Cut up 4 rashers of bacon and boil with chicken [this takes much less time to cook than the chicken] drain, and add to soup. Boiling the chicken instead of any other way keeps it moist and juicy. Keep the meat chunky, don't blend it*~
Serve with bread and/or a splash of single cream.

Nice and easy any anyone can do it! Hearty meals made nice and simple! 

Newborn: Baby: 0-3 months: 3-6 months: Chores

Housework. It's a dirty word, but it's very important now. It is NOT the be all and end all, do not let any health professionals tell you otherwise. You may or may not know by now that I'm quite lazy, and anything that requires less effort is good by me. You might get this way too with your baby, so these are MY thoughts on how often you should clean and do other tasks. The easiest thing I have found is if you set yourself ONE task for the day, aside from the things you need to do every day like sterilizing. Say to yourself, I have all day to do this one thing. It doesn't matter when I do it, but it needs to be done TODAY.

Sterilizing - needs to be done every single day. Even if you HAVE enough bottles to last a few days, it will build up so much you won't want to do it. A useful time to do the sterilizing is before your baby gets up or after (s)he's gone to bed.

Clean the floors - once a week. All floors, carpets and tiles. If you do it every week, you don't have to move everything and get behind everything, it's a quick once over. Do it when your baby is sleeping, when (s)he's awake, when (s)he's in and when (s)he's out. (s)he HAS to get used to the hoover noise. You can't live your life waiting for grandma or daddy to come and take the baby out of the house so you can hoover. They won't like it, but they'll get used to it, and you can set aside some time after you've finished for cuddles. I do the floors every MONDAY, because wherever possible, all deliveries would be made at the weekend, when my other half is at home, so if you're used to doing the floors every monday, anything they've tracked in will get cleaned up very quickly.

Clean the bathroom - once a month. Guess what? You're a mum now, and a bath is a LUXURY. You don't want to finally soak into a lovely hot bath, and it's grimy and has limescale all over it and you can't relax. Cleaning isn't just for your baby, it's for you too, so even though your baby won't even be coming in the bathroom yet, you still want it nice and clean so you can soak in peace.

Dusting - I never know with dusting. It's something you forget a lot. Once every couple of months is probably okay. I've only dusted once since my baby was born.

Washing - now this depends on a few things, do you have a dryer? How many hand-me-downs do you have? If you have a dryer and a fair few hand-downs, your normal once-a-week wash is still fine. I do the washing every FRIDAY, because casual friday. So all my other half's work shirts can be washed at once and I don't have to wait for one more at the end of the day.

Changing baby's bedding - don't let anyone scare you. You can change your baby's bedding the same amount as you change your own (once every 1-2 months) unless (s)he has actually got it dirty by throwing up or weeing on it, it's okay to leave it for a while.

Tidying up - you should nip around the house, putting things back where they were at least once a day, probably when your baby has gone to bed, but if you keep on top of it as you go things will be better. Put empty crisp packets in the bin when you've finished etc.

Bathing your baby - I've already said that 3x a week is fine. It totally counts as a chore. If your baby has particularly strong feelings either way, bathing her can take a really long time, anywhere up to an hour! This can be pretty draining and you definitely need to feel like you accomplished something by managing it!

Bathing yourself - At least once a month, preferably once a week. And I mean BATHE, not the usual quick shower to get clean. A nice long soak, with a book or some bubbles. You need to look after yourself and a relaxed mum is a happy mum. Do it when (s)he's gone to bed, or get someone to come babysit.

Shopping - whenever you need it. This might sound a bit blase, but it's an excuse to get you both out of the house. You don't need a big weekly shop, most people these days have a supermarket within walking distance, why not go out for a pint of milk every single day? And it's exercise that will help you get rid of the baby weight. What's the downside? Impulse buys. Write a list.

Newborn: Baby: 0-3 months: Medical professionals think they know everything i

Medical professionals think they know everything and dictate to you exactly what they think you should do, as if there's only one way to do things, and even though they always say every baby is different, they sure don't act that way! Trust your instincts, they're good.

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. " Baz leurman everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)
This is exactly how you should treat EVERYONE'S advice. Including medical professionals, including me, remember that medical opinion changes every few years so if you think something isn't right for you and your baby, you don't have to do it, or you don't have to do it that way.

"do not use a secondhand car seat as you cannot be sure it wasn't damaged in an accident with the previous owner" sure, if you're buying from a charity shop. But if you're getting it passed down by a friend, or relative, you would know if they got in a crash. Never say never. If you know exactly where your car seat is from then it's no problem at all.

"do not let your baby sleep in it's car seat in the home" can someone tell me why? I think it's just so they don't get used to it. I think, don't PUT your baby to sleep in the car seat, but if they haven't woken up coming from the car into the house, and if you know it's just a nap and not them going down for the night, then it's fine, they'll wake up soon and want to play.

"don't put shopping bags on the handles of prams and pushchairs" what else do they expect you to do? Don't put too many bags on the handles so that it's too heavy to stand up on it's own. 

"do not use a baby walker as they can lead to accidents" then why do they exist? I personally don't like baby walkers, but of course you can use them. It depends on the size of your house, and how tidy it is. If you have a small house, you can get baby walkers that don't actually move. Instead of do not use, I would say "supervise at all times" which of course you will. If you've got a big enough living room (or a different room) limiting your baby to just the one room to explore at a time would be a good idea. Remember a baby walker lifts your baby up higher than usual, make sure there's nothing (s)he can grab now (s)he's higher up, that (s)he shouldn't. 

Newborn: Baby: 0-3 months: Safe sleeping for baby

~*I consider "newborn" to mean up to 1m*~

I am using the "safe sleep for you and your baby" gro company and fsid booklet, found at my nhs hospital, as a guide for what they tell you is correct, and my opinions on these medical "facts" You're mum. You know best. Take these strict rules they force on you with a pinch of salt, ask your parents what they did with you. Medical opinions change, so it's not all set in stone.

Whilst your baby is newborn you will definitely want her in with you. It's not 100% necessary, back in the day they didn't always sleep the babies in with the mothers, but it does increase risk of cot death if you don't sleep in with your newborn.

Advantages of sleeping in the same room as your baby:

• Easy to soothe her when (s)he wakes in the night
• You can hear when (s)he wakes in the night
• It will soothe your own personal worries about all the things that might go wrong in the night
• Easier to feed if (s)he's right next to you
• Decreases chances of cot death

How to sleep your newborn:

>Your newborn should always have her feet at the bottom of the moses basket or cot. This way, when (s)he wriggles in the night, she is more likely to wriggle up and out of the covers, but if (s)he's at the top of the cot and wriggles down, (s)he could pull the covers up over her head and have difficulty breathing.

>"Your newborn should sleep on her back." My mum had 3 kids, and they said differently for all of us. "it is not safe for your baby to sleep on her front or side", don't worry. It's fine. For the first month it is best to follow their guidelines of sleeping on her back, but as soon as she was able to move her neck and head well, we started sleeping our angel on her front. It helps her get her wind up by herself. I don't like sleeping on back because I worry that if they vomit, they could choke on it. 

>"Your newborn should sleep in a cot or moses basket next to you, not in bed with you." I think this is right for newborns, but when they get a bit older, it's fine. If she's being especially awkward, sometimes I'll sleep in my baby's room in our spare bed. The bed is next to the wall and I'm blocking her from rolling off the other side, so I think it's fine to share my bed with her. 

"It's very dangerous to sleep together with your baby on a sofa, armchair or settee and it's also risky to sleep a baby alone in an adult bed." Okay. Let's break this down shall we? You're a mum. Naturally you're very worried about everything and you know what's best for your baby. You can nap safely with your baby in an armchair or sofa/settee. You're not going to drop her are you? You'll worry and fret and take the necessary precautions, and probably won't even get to sleep before she wakes up. It's fine. Maybe not for the first couple of weeks, but it's okay.

It's also fine to sleep a baby alone in an adult bed. Probably only double or bigger, but it's okay. You can put her down for a nap in your room, and it's okay as long as you don't leave the room. If you want to watch tv in your room or something, it's okay to let your baby sleep in your bed. If you want to leave the room this is also okay, but you should always make some kind of barricade or nest so (s)he won't wriggle or roll off the bed. Even if (s)he can't roll, you don't want her first time to cause an accident.

"Settle your baby with a dummy." Dummies are a personal choice and you might not want to ever give your baby a dummy. They shouldn't be dictating this to you. Dummies are good because it is a comfort thing, they like it. It can also be a good indicator for your baby that it's time to sleep now. If you do decide to use a dummy, remember that there are a few different types, and your baby might be spitting it out a lot because (s)he doesn't like that shape. My baby doesn't like the "dentist recommended" dummies. She has also been using 6m+ dummies since she was 3m old. It could just be too small for your baby.

Baby's room is recommended to be between 16 and 20 degrees C. Sweet spot at 18. Baby shouldn't sleep next to a radiator or window.

"Baby should sleep in with you for the first 6m". Not necessary. From 2m my baby has been in her cot bed, she wanted more space and cried when we put her in the moses basket. She's been sleeping on her own since 3m. Just get a good baby monitor. I think sleeping in with your baby that long might make them clingy and/or a bad sleeper. Trust your instincts for how long (s)he wants to be with you, and if she sleeps through the night nice and early, why would you want to sleep in with her and risk waking her with a bad dream or a snore? 

Pregnancy: Newborn: How do I bathe my baby?

Easy as pie. They'll show you in the hospital. Just run the water so your elbow is comfortable in it. They say that it should be body temperature but nah. Slightly warm or cold for your elbow is fine, and for some babies, preferable. My baby likes warm baths and screams if you try to give her body temperature water. We have a generic oval shaped baby bath second hand, and it fits on her secondhand moses basket stand. Stands for baths can be quite expensive, so it's useful to know that.

You support your baby's head with one hand and wash your baby with the other. I think having a baby sponge and a wash mitt is very useful. The baby sponge is much better, and you can use it on her face, and you can't do that with the wash mitt. But the wash mitt is useful for her back. You can put it on the hand that you're holding her up with.

You don't need to use baby oil every single time. Every other time is fine, it's just to moisturize her.

Cradle Cap, also known as what the hell is this? Cradle cap looks like this. It can look awful but it's nothing to worry about.

This is cradle cap. All it means is that you aren't scrubbing hard enough when you wash her hair. You can be firmer than you think. Just start scrubbing a bit harder. You don't need specially formulated shampoo unless it gets worse and worse. It is a baby equivalent of dandruff, and it's nothing to worry about, especially not at this stage. It doesn't hurt them. Try rubbing a little baby oil on the cradle cap. It can work wonders.

Some babies don't like bathing in the evenings. Mine doesn't. She didn't like the bath at all at first, she would scream from the second she got in to the second she got out, so I use it as a wakey time ritual. You DON'T have to bathe her every day and you DON'T have to top and tail her. I think 3x a week is fine, and baby oil 2x is good.

The seats so (s)he can get in the adult bath last about as long as a baby bath anyway, so probably best to get one or the other. How are your knees? If you have any knee trouble or trouble getting up and down, a bath seat is probably not for you, you'll want a baby bath and a stand.

You only need to wash your baby with plain warm water for the first month or so, then you can start using bubble baths and so on. Change only one thing at a time, so if you're adding baby bath to her bath, don't change your fabric softener or anything, and then if (s)he gets a rash you'll know what it is. My baby came up with a rash when we put infacare in the bath with her.

Pregnancy: Newborn: How do I fold baby clothes?

I don't think you're stupid. I just didn't know, and you unwrap them so quickly to have a look at them, you forget how they went in the first place. How do you fold dresses? You pretty much don't. They're difficult. Use any baby hangers you have for dresses. How do you fold tops and trousers? Pretty much the same as you'd fold adult tops and trousers. They fit best in a drawer in "like for like" piles, and easy quick grab access too.

How to fold bodysuits

Lie the bodysuit FACEDOWN.

Fold the arms in, one on top of the other

Like so

Next, pull the legs up to meet the folded arms

Fold the bottom up, in half

Turn it over, and with this method you can see which
bodysuit it is in the drawer

When the clothes get bigger (this is 3-6 mo)

You might want to add in an extra fold

To make it the same size as the smaller ones

How to fold vests

Lie it facedown again, for the same reason, so you can see
which one it is in the drawer

Fold it up, at where the crotch starts

Fold in half for newborn, and more for older.

Once you know, it's easy. But working it out, and if you have no-one to show you, can be very stressful.

Newborn: Baby: 0-3 months: 3-6 months: What the hell is wrong with my baby?

Weaning: You'll be surprised when you're weaning just how quickly your baby's runny poops go solid. If you're weaning and they are screaming for apparently no reason, remember that they could be trying to pass a hard poop, and they're not used to it.

There is definitely a checklist to go through to see what's wrong with your baby, and when you reach the end, your should go back and start again. Remember that if you are getting too stressed out with your baby (i.e saying "shut up" instead of "be quiet" or wanting to yell at her) put her in her cot and leave the room. Shut the door and go have a coffee. Calm down and try again.

There are many things that could be wrong with your baby. There may be other reasons as well.

• Hunger
• Temperature (too hot or too cold. Take everything off your baby, or enough to reach, and place the back of your hand on her belly. This will tell you if (s)he is hot or cold.)
• Tired
• Bored
• Lonely
• Windy
• Overstimulated 
• Your baby may just want to be alone for five minutes. We all need this sometimes. This may or may not lead to a nap. You may be surprised at how quickly your baby develops a sense of self, personality, and desire to be alone. Don't leave her alone for too long, five minutes is a good timescale for babies.
• Pooping
• (s)he might want a dummy (if relevant) or a particular toy
• From about 4 months (s)he might complain if (s)he wants to sit up. (s)he will be getting more and more curious and wants to see the world.
• Teething. It's never too early. More on this later.
• Post-injection fever. More on this later.

After you've been through this list a few times, is when it might be illness. Don't leap straight to it.  

Newborn: Lights

My Newborn is obsessed with lights, will it damage her eyes?

No. This is completely normal, all babies love lights. They will stare at them for ages and it won't damage their eyes at all. If it's too bright the baby will turn away from it naturally, and it's completely okay. You can't stop them from looking at them, they will always search for the lights, and it's okay. Don't take them too close to the light source, and don't shine a torch in their eyes, but wherever they decide to look is completely okay.

Newborn: How do I play with my newborn?

You don't. I know that's heartbreaking, I do. I know you want to wake her up and play with her, but remember, (s)he's sleeping because (s)he needs to. Newborns need a lot of sleep. I don't know about other people, but I personally class Newborn as from birth to 1 month. After about a month they will slowly start to be more alert, and sleep a little less. Parenthood is all about patience. You need to be patient for them to start to be more alert. You need to be patient for them to reach all their milestones - every baby is different, milestones are guides, not targets. You need to be patient for them to tie their shoelaces, if you jump in and do it for them, they won't learn how to get good at it. Their whole lives you've got to be patient, and it starts now.

What you can do when your newborn is awake, is bond. The more the both of you bond with your baby now, the better your relationship with your child will be.

You can cuddle her. This might make her go to sleep, but this is because (s)he feels safe with you. Lie her on your chest, let her listen to your heartbeat. It is still the most comforting thing for her.

You can look at her. (s)he will never be this little again and you should treasure it. Look at her, study every crease and frown and chubby belly. The better you know your baby and what is normal, the quicker you will know when (s)he is ill, and the quicker you will get to know her cues.

~* Cues: Baby's have many cues to let you know things like hunger, and tiredness, before the cry even starts. They might start mouthing for food, or scratching at their face, or whimpering. There are many cues and your baby might have the same cues as other babies, or a completely unique one. Every baby seems to have several cues for each affliction, and some cues that are the same for hunger and tiredness, or hunger and pooping, etc. You should get to know your baby as much as possible so you can learn her cues. It's better to give her food as she is starting to get hungry rather than when (s)he's screaming for it; especially when weaning, it's much slower than breast or bottle feeding. *~

You can take photos of her. It is something that is very easy to forget, and when you look back and realize you don't have any/many photos, it can be quite upsetting. I think you could aim to take a photo every day, because you will miss some, and forget, and even if it's only every other day that you manage it, you'll still have plenty of photos of your little baby. Take photos of lots of different relatives holding her, (s)he might want to look at them when (s)he's older, and it will be a nice keepsake for your relatives too. Try and get a few family photos of Mummy, Daddy and Baby, especially when he's on paternity leave and readily available. You can take your camera into most Boots stores and get them developed for 20 odd pence each, there are also other, more specific places that do so. You can also go to www.photobox.co.uk/yourbaby, simply register, and you can send them your files and get 60 FREE prints sent to you. You have to pay them postage, which isn't much, £3 I think, and you can get 50 more free prints for everyone that you successfully invite to join. Even after they are no longer free, I think it is only a few pence per photo. I am not sure about photo developing websites/stores for America.

You can talk to her. (s)he got to know your voice pretty well in the womb, and it is still comforting for her. you can talk to her when (s)he's awake or asleep, soother her and let her get to know you. (s)he doesn't understand what you're saying right now, so you can repeat yourself as often as you want, or even swear (by accident of course), be sure to use calming, gentle tones, almost lyrical. You can be more upbeat and happy, sing-songy when (s)he's awake, and you should be gentler and more soothing when (s)he's asleep.

You can read to her. This is mainly an extension of talking to her. (s)he won't understand anything yet, you can simply read her whatever book you're reading if you like. This can be easier for anyone who is self conscious about chattering to their baby without any real point to the one-sided conversation, or people who don't really know what to say. They won't engage with the book, or understand what it is, so it's not something you have to do, but you could get used to it now, and doing the silly voices, so you're not thrown in at the deep end when (s)he's two or three and wants a bedtime story every night.

You can sing to her. You will need to sing when she's a bit older, babies love song. You can sing her whatever you're listening to right now, even if it swears, although you might want to start hunting around for radio edits of your favourite songs. You need to get over any embarrassment of talking, or singing to her in public, it will be best for the both of you if you don't care what other people think if you just burst into song in the middle of the supermarket.

Toys: - are not necessary for newborns. They don't really understand them. It can give you something to talk to them about and it's not like it would do them any harm, but you don't have to play with toys with them and if you do and they aren't interested, that's normal.

The Changing bag.

You need a nice big changing bag, squishy and easy to manipulate, so you can shove it any which way. I find my changing bag with an adjustable strap very useful, and it is a good size for me.

My change bag

You will need your change bag every day, every time you go out, and even if you're only nipping to the shop around the corner, because there could be an emergency, you might want to just hop on a bus into town and this would give you the freedom to do so, you could be out longer than you anticipated. This is a completely separate entity to your handbag. It's easiest to shove it at the bottom of the pram in the basket, but sometimes you don't want to keep bending down and faffing so you hang it over the handles instead.

What you need in your change bag:-

• fold up change mat (optional) right at the bottom. You very rarely need it, but you might want to cushion an incredibly hard changing mat in a public change room, or you might need to make do with bad conditions. It's useful in the rare times you need it.
• Change of clothes. For your baby. Essential, and, if they're ill, you might want to take another change. I mean a complete change. Vest, bodysuit/trousers and top, socks, gloves and hat if necessary. This is if they throw up or poo everywhere.
• Extra clothes. This is different. This is things your baby MIGHT need. An extra layer for if it gets cold. A jumper or cardigan basically.
• Spare dummy (if applicable) in a plastic bag. Keep this close to the top.
• Muslin squares. Essential. you may need two or three.
• Baby wipes. Always. Changing their bum or wiping their face, baby wipes are incredibly versatile and essential.
• Nappies. 4x. Yes. And remember to replace them once they've been used.
• Nappy bags. Always bring some, but to be honest you don't always use them in public.
• Bum cream.
• Emergency feed. This is not a feed feed, it's a pre-made carton (SMA and pre-sterilized teats are very useful) it's not to be counted as a feed - it's an emergency. If you run out, get snowed in or stranded somewhere sort of thing. Keep it in the bag at all times.
• Medicines and syringes. At least a painkiller, a wind fixer, and a teething gel
• The day's feeds. You might also want to bring a spare, just in case.
• Toys. Small things like rattles or squishy like cuddly toys.  Bring the "main" toys with you in the pram/car, but things get lost, thrown, dirty, run out of batteries. I keep a small rattle in the change bag at all times.

In addition, I also carry some baby-related things in my handbag at all times

• spare muslin for quick access
• camera
• diary for appointments
• her red book (otherwise I'll lose it or forget to bring it to appointments)

With all of this you can see how mums can seem so scattered. There's a hundred things to remember to bring and do. When I was first told that it would take three hours to leave the house, I didn't believe them. I did quite well though, I managed it in two...most things are static in your change bag, you just need to check you still have things.

Don't worry, you'll get used to it. And you'll start to arrange them as to, what will I need first? That can go on top. It's a lot to lug around with you and is one of the hardest things to get used to, because you can't just decide to go out anymore, there's all this preparation. No-one told you it was easy did they?

SMA pre made bottle

Box of teats

This is how they come. Pre sterilized, in a little
bag, can be popped in your change bag like this

Bottle feeding

Remember that these posts are created for advice for people, like me, who weren't planning for a baby all their lives, and suddenly they're thrown in at the deep end. It may sound patronizing to people who know what to do already.

~*Note: I use Tommee Tippee bottles, so not all of this will be relevant if you're using different bottles.*~

Bottle feeding is a completely different skill to breast feeding, though nowhere near as hard. So up until now your little one has had exclusively breast-fed breast-milk. You've decided to move one to bottle fed breast milk or formula. So your baby is used to a big mouthful of breast from you. It's warm, and it's natural, they don't have to learn anything. Bottle teats are going to be thinner than your nipples (and areola. The mouthful she takes in, is what I mean), and stick out further, so your baby has to close her mouth more and tighter around a teat. This can lead to a lot of dribbling and spills, not just at first. Your baby will find it hard to adjust to this new skill, so be patient with her, and love her, and soothe her. Your baby is used to being tickled on the nose/top lip to tell her it's time for a feed, you can do this with the bottle too, to ease into it. Your baby may not like the taste or feel of the teat, which can lead to them spitting it out a lot, but don't worry, they will get used to it. Use a muslin as a bib, it can go all the way around her neck without scratching or chafing. I think bibs are for food and weaning. The muslin can also protect your clothes from spills.

Your baby won't understand that a bottle means food straightaway, it could take some time. A good way to start off the feed is wait until (s)he is screaming for food and plonking it in her mouth. It won't take long for her to learn that a bottle means food and opening her mouth for it. Make sure you have the valve at the top, above her lip. This lets air in one way and stops the bottle from warping the same way as a bottle of water would warp for us if we had it all in one go. Even if you haven't done it before, you'll have seen someone on television or out and about, testing the temperature of the milk. You should be able to not feel it at all when you drop it on your wrist, body temperature. But this is not essential. It can be slightly cool, or warm to your wrist. You may find that your baby prefers it one way of another.

If you're bottle feeding early, like me, your newborn may still fall asleep at the bottle. Just twist it around in her mouth and (s)he will remember what (s)he was doing. If (s)he doesn't understand how the bottles work, you can gently squeeze the sides to squirt some in her mouth and help her along.

But I'm moving straight onto formula and my baby doesn't like it. What do I do?
It is going to be different for her, and taste different to your breast milk. It is entirely possible that (s)he is pushing it away because (s)he doesn't like it. They are all formulated differently and have different tastes, just try it yourself and you'll see.
Aptamil - we topped up our baby with this when I was breastfeeding. We had some of the pre-made cartons handed down from my partners brother. I never tried it, but we only gave her a few, because she really turned her nose up at them and didn't like them. We never tried the powder. The powders and the pre-made cartons can taste different, so you may want to try another version.
SMA - we then switched onto this. ~**Everywhere on the internet says to talk to your doctor before switching formulas but you really don't have to. It's so your doctor can monitor your baby for any digestive changes and reactions, and you can do that yourself. It might be good to keep a cry diary, if (s)he is screaming more, or less, on a different formula, you'll have an answer. **~ SMA is greasy, hard to clean off bottles, and it blocked our baby up. She was only pooping once a week on it and it was very painful for her. This is just my baby's reaction to this formula, not every baby's. Don't avoid because I said it was no good for us, just be aware that it can happen. Strangely she seems to be okay with the pre-made SMA bottles, which are really good, they're not cartons, they're ready to use bottles that you can buy teats for and have a feed ready in seconds. I carry one around at all times in the Change bag.
Cow and Gate - We switched to this and found our answer. It's frothy, light and tastes pretty nice to me, and our baby loves it. She will gulp it down. It's also cheaper than SMA, £7.99 per tub as opposed to £9.29 for SMA. She digests it much better, and quicker. She has a healthy bowel movement every day now, which is much better. Once a week on formula isn't the healthiest, but talk to your doctor if it's been 10 or more days since her last bowel movement.

Crying - clearly wanting something and letting you know. Fairly quiet at first but if you don't catch it quick it can turn into screaming.
Screaming - inconsolable, you've tried everything and it's not working. You're getting stressed and upset and (s)he won't calm down. Much louder and demanding. Screaming is very hard to cope with and occurs at teething, with digestive pain, when they're ill...

~***You should always say "be quiet" to your baby; or "shhh-hh" The minute you say "SHUT UP", you're getting too stressed to deal with her properly, especially if you're her mum, she picks up on your moods. Take her, and put her in her cot. As soon as you say shut up. (s)he's safe there. Don't worry. Give her her dummy if (s)he has one, shut the door, go away. Make yourself a coffee, or have a cigarette, anything. Sit down for five minutes and relax. There is no shame in that. It's awful to hear her cry and if you can't help her you can feel worse and worse. You may find that when you go back up, she's asleep, and that's fine too. Even if she's not due a nap yet, screaming can tire a baby out. It is also possible that (s)he was overstimulated, and wanted 5 minutes to herself too. Even if she's still screaming, or wakes up screaming, you're better equipped to deal with it now.***~

Soy - if your baby is screaming after every feed, keep in mind that they could have a lactose intolerance. Varying levels exist, my partner's brother's kid has special formula on prescription. All formula brands have a soya alternative, and that could be the problem. It's best to talk to your doctor before switching onto lactofree formula. Cow and Gate's infasoy is for all ages, including adults, with lactose intolerance. I don't know about other soya formulas. It made her scream more so that wasn't the problem, but it could be, and you need to be aware of that.

How to make bottles - they're far too militant about this okay? You're fine.
"Don't make up all your bottles for the day" - No. What are you going to do if you're out? Making up your bottles for the day is fine.
"Use water at at least 70 degrees C" - No. This is because the powder is not sterile and it *could* make your baby ill. But they have to be extra careful so they don't get sued. You can use cooled boiled water to make your bottles, just understand that there is a small chance it might make your baby ill.
"Don't refrigerate bottles" - No. You can refrigerate bottles if you like, I wouldn't for more than a couple of days, but you can. Breastmilk can stay in the fridge for ages, I think a week, or two? Or in the freezer for a month.
"Use bottles within 2 hours of making" - No. Clearly not. If you're going out you want to take a few bottles with you.
"Use formula powder within a month of opening" - Yes. They're probably being overly cautious, but the bacteria in the powder will multiply in this timescale. And don't worry. If you're exclusively formula feeding your baby, you will get through it within a month. Easily. Every two weeks really. No waste.
"You should give your baby X amount of formula" - No. There are tables on the back of the formula tubs, and an equation they give you, but don't give your baby more because they say so. We were overfeeding our baby for the longest time because of this. Give her how much you think (s)he needs. If you think she's having too much, cut her down.
            the equation they give you is 150ml multiplied by weight in kg, divided by the number of feeds (s)he has in 24 hours. The result, in ml, is actually the amount of formula (s)he should be having once it's made up. 7 scoops of powder and 7oz of water actually make up 8oz of formula, not 7.

Teats - Don't go by the packaging. We switched to number 2 teats (med flow) at 2 months, not 3. If you think (s)he is ready for it, try her on it. If (s)he spills too much, or drinks too quickly and throws up, switch back. We felt that feeding was getting very slow, with how much she was having and how slow it was coming out. She seemed to want it quicker than she was getting. You'll know.

Winding - You need to stop and burp her halfway through. Even if (s)he doesn't want to. Ours doesn't. You'll get to know whereabouts "halfway through" is, and then prepare yourself for the crying, the angry sounding crying, as (s)he tells you (s)he wants it back. Ignore her and wind her as normal. It will be better for her I promise. And at the end of the feed, the longer you spend winding her, the better you'll sleep! If you don't wind her properly, it can build up during the day, and when it gets to the evening time, cause her great pain and stress. After a feed, I always find it best to sit back, relax, and enjoy a nice cuddle, whilst rubbing her back for windies.

This is how I do bottles. I'm not saying it's the only way, I'm not even saying it's correct, but it's simple, and satisfies fussy health visitors that insist on a certain temperature for the water.

First, the sterilized bottle. Add any Dentinox, Gripe water,
or other medicines to bottle first.

Next, Add your scoops of powder. This can be done in many
bottles and left overnight. The longer you leave it with the
medicine in, the harder it will be to shake, and may become
clumpy, if you do it scoops and no medicine though,
it can be left for longer

Now, boil your water and measure it out
IN A DIFFERENT BOTTLE

This is your made up bottle

Add lid and shake as normal

Thoroughly check for lumps and bits stuck to the side. It
happens often with this method of making bottles.

Add bottle to jug of cold water to cool, or run under cold tap
like they tell you to. I prefer the jug of cold water because I
can comfort my hungry baby whilst it's cooling. You can add
ice cubes, or an ice pack, to make this faster.

Doing your bottle this way satisfies the health professionals strict instructions of how to make the bottles, and it stops the powder scoop getting clumpy and needing washing. Screwing the lid on can be difficult, because the bottle is very hot. You can do it with a towel. Do not shake the bottle by only holding on to the lid of the bottle. It can fly off and the bottle can bounce on the floor, spraying boiling milk everywhere, including in you eye. believe me, I know. Hold it upside down by the lid, and shake, it can't fly off that way, or use a towel to hold on to the hot bottle, then you can grip it wherever you like, and shake.

Sterilizing

The MINUTE you're on bottle feeding, you will want a big steam sterilizer, plug in, not microwave. I have a hand-down avent. I don't know all steam sterilizers but mine is designed to hold only avent bottles, so it will fit 6 avent bottles, or 6 asda's little angels bottles, or similar, or it will hold 5 tommee tippee bottles. Teats and lids go in the top and it will only fit 4 or 5 tommee tippee teats or lids, or 6 asda's little angels. You often end up doing a sterilizing of just teats and lids, so you may want to get a couple spare, or, once you've moved to big bottles, you'll have spares anyway from the little bottles. Alternatively, if you have hand-me-downs or are comfortable with money, or have doting new grandparents that want to splash cash, you could get a small microwave sterilizer as well, that would be just for teats and lids.

Sterilizing 
-Step one: after your baby has finished her bottle, and burped, put her down somewhere safe and go straight to the kitchen. Rinse the bottle under the tap, fill with 1-2 oz of water, screw the lid back on and shake. Tip the dirty water out and fill the bottle again and put it on the side. This makes things MUCH easier later when you're actually sterilizing. Especially if your baby is on SMA milk. SMA is a very thick and greasy milk. It makes the bottles hard to clean, and if they aren't cleaned properly, they will get stained a horrible colour. We are on cow and gate and she poops much more regularly than she did on SMA, she found it very difficult to process and would scream a lot when she had to poop. Cow and gate is also easier to clean off the bottles, and much less greasy and thinner. Cow and gate is frothier and may sometimes leave bubble residue, this is fairly east to get off though.

-Step two: when you have enough bottles to fill your sterilizer, wash them. You don't have to use a bottle brush, especially with nice wide bottles like tommee tippee, but it can help and some come with a handy teat cleaner. You can wash the bottles in hot soapy water like the rest of your washing up. Precautions I take to make sure my baby isn't going to get anything nasty in her food are: -make sure they are the first things you wash up in a clean bowl of water - get a new washing up cloth every single time (normally once a day, in the evening, so you might want to make sure you have at least 7 washcloths. It can then be used on the rest of your washing up no problem.) Because you rinsed the bottles out earlier, all they will need is a wipe over with the cloth, inside and out.

-Step three: I don't think this is mandatory, but I do it every time. Finish whatever washing up you need to do, tip the water away. Rinse the bowl out, and refill with hot water, nothing else. Tip all your bottles, teats and lids back in to the bowl, and swish them all around, getting all suds off the bottles.

-Step four: Now's the easy bit. You shove them all in the sterilizer and shove it on. For my avent this is just fill it with 200ml water, and press a button. Others might be more complicated I'm not sure.

Sterilizing is one of the things that I actually agree with them being militant about. It is very important, you don't want your baby to be having anything they shouldn't have. And you have to do this roundabout once a day. Every day. It can be a struggle, but you WILL get used to it and it WILL become routine. You have to continue sterilizing for a long time, around six months, maybe a bit earlier. Basic guide is, when they're reaching out, picking things up for themselves, and putting them in their mouth, you no longer have to sterilize everything. I think this will be around the time they sit up, but my little one hasn't got there yet so I don't know.

Read the instructions, but my steam sterilizer doesn't need cleaning. Only when it gets gunk in it coming up from the bottom, which is about once every two months maybe, with daily use. Microwave sterilizers get gunk on them quite a lot, and need a thorough clean, or at least a wipedown with a cloth, every couple of weeks. My microwave sterilizer is a tommee tippee, and can fit two big bottles, complete with teats AND lids, which can be good if you need them quickly, or 3 small bottles with teats and lids. I got my tommee tippee microwave sterilizer free with my tommee tippee manual breast pump, which also came with a bottle.
Note: I do not recommend manual breast pumps. A double electric pump is something that you really do need to spend money on, if you're pumping. Sometimes you can get more milk out by hand expressing than with a manual pump, and it's boring and slow.
however, if you are pumping, all the components for my double pump fit pretty perfectly in the tommee tippee microwave sterilizer, I don't know if they would fit so well in a big steam sterilizer.

Newborn: Getting to know your newborn.

But she just sleeps all the time! Yes. I know. Enjoy that whilst you can. You won't, but I can tell you to anyway. Anyway, just because she's sleeping doesn't mean you can't get to know her. Get as many photos as you can, you'll be surprised how much (s)he changes and how quickly! Cuddle her, let her sleep on you and get to know you. Spend time together as a family before paternity leave ends. Take photos of you as a family. Even if (s)he's jaundiced, it can be interesting to look back on. See how tiny (s)he is and feel how amazingly heavy (s)he seems, even though everyone with older babies is telling you how light she is.Feel how strong (s)he is, and how curious. Even in the first few weeks you can pick up on some things that (s)he likes!  My little one (LO in forums and chatrooms) has always been obsessed with bookshelves. I wonder if it's all the colours.

Skin to skin - this is very important. I've heard some dads say that (s)he's attention seeking to want to cuddle all day. Not at this age. The professionals say (s)he can't be crying for attention seeking until 6 months. I think it's 3. They do go through stages of being clingy, but not right now. Your mother's instinct will tell you when (s)he is starting to just want you. Right now, (s)he is getting comfort from your heartbeat that (s)he heard for all those months, and if (s)he lies on daddy too they will bond quicker and better. Skin to skin is the best way of bonding with your baby. (s)he feels safe and loved. Daddy might not like it so much when she tries to pull out his chest hair, but if he can handle it, force as much upon him as possible. And enjoy it, especially if it's a girl, they don't always like cuddles. My LO only sees it as me restraining her, and preventing her from seeing the world - she's only 4 1/2 months! I think girls are more interdependent, they seem more curious. Girls seem to toilet train easier, because they want to be able to do it themselves.

Salt baths - These will help your wounds. Try and have one a day for at least a week.

Visitors - So your place is a mess with this influx of...stuff! It's only a little baby, where did all this stuff come from?! and you're too tired to clean it up, and suddenly your house seems to be some sort of damn museum, with visits every other damn day and people trailing through your house and well meaning friends and family coming to see the new baby...it's fine. They're not expecting the place to be tidy, and some people (probably moms themselves) might offer to help you with anything you want.

Accepting help - like asking questions. You have to do it. You have to let people help you, or you'll drown. It doesn't make you a bad mom. Even now, I find it hard. Even little things like getting the damn gate, I do it every day of the week and then suddenly at the weekends there's daddy to help me! It can be strange, but I'll let you in on a little secret, you don't have to do it all! And don't be afraid to ask! Especially people like your other half, and family, if they wouldn't mind loading the dishwasher for you, locking the door for you, even things like making their own coffee and letting themselves out the house! It all helps. And don't think to yourself, or let anyone say to you, you'll have to get used to it on your own. No you don't. Partner's paternity leave has ended? There's evenings and weekends. Single mom? What about your mom, or his mom, or your friends? There's always someone there for you. Even if it's only at the end of a phone and not in person. You don't have to do this alone. You're not alone.

The Birth: Questions

Ask as many as you can. There are so many doctors and nurses around who know what they're talking about (at least they're meant to~) you can pick one you like and get on with; you don't get that luxury from a health visitor. Ask as many questions as you can think of, even if you half know the answer; it's better to get the full story. It doesn't make you a bad mother to ask questions. How to swaddle, how to safely pick up your baby, even things you might not think you'll need.  And poop. It quickly becomes dinner conversation. You need to know exactly what is and is not normal, and the hospital workers might be better to ask than your gp or health visitor.

When you go for the check up just before you go, definitely ask as much as you can. They check the baby over and make notes of any kind of marks and bruises that occurred during the birth, and then anything new that the midwife sees in the first few visits ring warning bells for abuse. So if you've noticed something you think they haven't, you should definitely point it out, so you don't get accused of anything later.

Birthmarks - I don't know if birth marks are supposed to be picked up at this check, but my baby doesn't have any. If you aren't sure, or they don't say anything, definitely ask.

Lips - Did you know babies can suck their thumb in the womb? We have an ultrasound of her doing it. And this can cause a horrible dark brown scab on her lips. It's just the friction of thumb sucking, it will go away after a few days.

So else do they check over? - Well they do preliminary tests for hearing and sight, they can't tell for sure at this point if there's anything wrong, but they can tell is (s)he is completely blind or deaf. They also check movement, hip capability and muscles. It's a general all over body check, and they know what they're doing. They won't hurt your baby. They do this not too long before you're discharged.